Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts

Never Stop Asking Why

by Midnight Freemason Contributor
Robert E. Jackson


For as long as I can remember, we as humans seem to have a pattern of assuming the intentions on the actions of another. For some (usually those we care deeply about), we make excuses like "they didn't know better." For others, we assume that it was their specific purpose "you knew what you were doing, and you meant to do that." When some show remorse, we say "are you upset with your actions, or are you only upset you were caught." All of these scenarios assume we know the intentions, and desires, of the other person, but how can we truly know?

I've seen studies regarding programming and engineering principles, in an effort to foster intention within Artificial Intelligence. There are studies on optimizing your productive workflow, by being clear on your intentions. However, after some rudimentary research, I haven't been able to find many studies in an attempt to understand the root intention of humans, and why they do the things they do. The studies I have found indicate two primary factors that drive intent…belief systems, and emotions. Let's look at belief systems first.

From the moment we are born, the principles of our parents are injected into us. I don't believe this is a genetic predisposition, but something that is fostered within us as we grow mentally and physically. It starts with the family, and those closest, but as the youth grows, their beliefs are solidified by their teachers, clergy, Scoutmasters, and friends. It's amazing to me to think about the massive amount of data, nearly every second of the day, that drives a person's belief systems. It appears that as we get older, or perhaps depending on the emotions of those around us, those beliefs can solidify and become more and more difficult to change. This raises the importance of attempting to see things, or understand things, as they've never been seen before. I believe it was R.W. Brother Jarzabek that first introduced me to this concept. For that seems to be the best method to enable the melting of that carbonite, and adjust your beliefs as new data is experienced.

Now for emotion. "In the heat of battle" is a term that comes to mind here. I've written before that there are studies that show there are two primary emotions…Love and Fear. The anger and hatred in the world are driven out of Fear, and the compassion and caring of the world are driven out of Love. Try to recollect a period of time when you were in Fear of something…as a friend, as a parent, as a Brother. You may have said something, or done something, that you really didn't WANT to do. Something that goes against your belief systems and what you believe is 'right.' However, the action was taken anyway, and it became a regret. Some can dismiss the regret, while with others that regret festers indefinitely, driving more anxiety and depression, and higher levels of emotion. Those higher levels of emotion alter our intentions, and we continue down the cycle.

As I was writing this paper, I kept thinking about how this plays into Masonry, and how our work within the Lodges helps us grasp this concept of understanding intention. It is no secret that our ritual work consists of acting out plays and scenarios. We insert ourselves into the lives of another person, to try to understand their intentions, and what drives them to specific actions. I believe this is one of the reasons why the part of the ruffian in the third degree is by far one of my favorites to play. The breadth of emotions experienced for those small parts in the overall process extends from desire, to anger, fear, and ultimately regret. What influences the ruffians to seek that which they are not entitled to? What data from their lives drives those beliefs, ultimately resulting in acting out of fear?

I suppose the only way to truly understand intent is to walk in the shoes of another, from the time they are born. To feel every emotion, to learn every lesson, to have every discussion. How can that even be possible? As a society, we appear to be so quick to judge…so quick to assume the intentions or desires of another. I firmly believe that Social Media has exacerbated this issue by orders of magnitude, with every sound bite and every meme. We see it every day as people are attacked for a single comment or statement. I'm sure there are some that want to see anger, that want to get a rise out of others, that want to watch the world burn. Love is the only action that can extinguish those fires, don't fan the flames. My Brothers, please do your best to keep Love and Charity in the forefront of your mind.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” - Atticus Finch

~REJ

Robert Edward Jackson is a Past Master and Secretary of Montgomery Lodge located in Milford, MA. His Masonic lineage includes his Father (Robert Maitland), Grandfather (Maitland Garrecht), and Great Grandfather (Edward Henry Jackson), a founding member of Scarsdale Lodge #1094 in Scarsdale, NY. When not studying ritual, he's busy being a father to his three kids, a husband, Boy Scout Leader, and a network engineer to pay for it all. He can be reached at info@montgomerylodge.org

The International Language

by Midnight Freemason Contributor
Robert E. Jackson, PM


As Masons, we strive to improve upon the three moral virtues, Faith in a higher power, Hope in immortality, and Charity with all mankind. We reference the phrase from the book of first Corinthians, 13:13, which states "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." The King James version of the Bible uses the term "Charity," however, many other versions use the term "Love." Now think of that first line again…Love with all mankind. As men, for years it seems we have been taught to suppress our expression of Love. We need to be strong, brave, and courageous. Men don't cry, or talk about their feelings. Although I agree that there are times we do need to step up our strength and bravery, there are many more times when we need to honestly Love and care for one another. The way in which that Love is expressed, however, varies greatly across humanity.

I've recently learned of the five categories in which love can be given, or received. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, Dr. Gary Chapman documented "The 5 Love Languages" to help people understand their own, for lack of a better term, currency. The currency stipulates what you can offer another in the form of Love, but also what you appreciate most. According to Dr. Chapman, the five core languages of Love are (in no particular order):

· Physical Touch

· Receiving Gifts

· Words of Affirmation

· Quality Time

· Acts of Service


In other words, some humans appreciate simply hearing 'I Love You,' or another complement to audibly receive Love and gratification. For others, the words have little meaning next to a hug, or simply spending time together. The way that you express and show your Love for your spouse, family member, or Brother, may not be what they need in order to feel Loved. This isn't an unsurmountable challenge, however, and can be easily resolved through communication and understanding.

For starters, it's helpful to understand how you prefer to receive Love. Take some time to internalize and meditate on the actions of others that have truly made you happy. Not a simple laugh, but an action that can lasts for days. Many months ago, I received a hand written letter from a dear Brother. Something so simple, but that Act of Service, still means so much to me. I still have that letter on my desk, and when I become frustrated, that letter helps restore my faith in goodness and Brotherly Love. You may be surprised how easy it is to realize what your Love Language is.

Finding the Language of your partner, friend, Brother, or family member may be more challenging. Try discussing your Love Language with the other person (and no I'm not talking about Ricky and Mrs. Smith's International language from Better Off Dead). Share what you have learned, and start that conversation about what makes them happy, what gestures or events in their lives really made them feel loved. Once they start talking, let it be about them…you're there to listen and learn. Once you can understand how they feel loved, your relationship can only grow stronger with compassion and understanding.
If you have any interest in improving your relationships with either your spouse or friends and family, I would strongly encourage you to do some reflection and discover more about how you Love! More information about "The 5 Love Languages" can be found on Dr. Chapman's website, https://www.5lovelanguages.com, including quizzes that can help you, or your partner, identify your Love Language. "The greatest of these, is LOVE!"

~REJ

Robert Edward Jackson is a Past Master and Secretary of Montgomery Lodge located in Milford, MA. His Masonic lineage includes his Father (Robert Maitland), Grandfather (Maitland Garrecht), and Great Grandfather (Edward Henry Jackson), a founding member of Scarsdale Lodge #1094 in Scarsdale, NY. When not studying ritual, he's busy being a father to his three kids, a husband, Boy Scout Leader, and a network engineer to pay for it all. He can be reached at info@montgomerylodge.org