I Still Hear Your Voice

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

R.W.B. Michael H. Shirley

Last Tuesday, I woke up early, stumbled downstairs, made coffee, and sat down at the computer to check Facebook. My friend Tony had been battling colon cancer, and his wife, Alex, had posted the day before that he was going in for surgery to try to control some bleeding, and that prayers would be appreciated. He’d been undergoing chemo, which is a nasty business with unpleasant but treatable side effects, so things like this didn’t seem unduly worrisome, at least at a distance. But then I saw the update: “Tony Ryan and his family would like us all to gather in prayer for his journey home to our Father.” I just sat there, staring, and then frantically started checking other friends’ pages for more information. It didn’t take long. Tony had died early that morning, and the expressions of shock, support, grief, and loss were soon almost overwhelming. We began reaching out, holding on to one another in our sorrow and disbelief.

As many as could arrange it made it to the visitation that Sunday. We’d all aged, some of us more than others, but we recognized one another in brief moments of joy that dissolved into tears. It’s good to see you, we’d say, but there’s nothing good about this. And we’d hold onto each other, and ask, in full knowledge it was a stupid question, how’s Alex doing? There’s no good answer to that, really, where real love is. “Terrible” is the only truthful one.

So we stood in line to express our sorrow to Alex and the rest of Tony’s family. We huddled in small stunned groups, exchanging banal observations. We hugged, talked, told stories, and cried. We tried not to think too much about the future.

My family and I had to leave before any of the music started, but we knew it would be amazing. Tony was the high tenor on so many of our choir performances, and we could always pick him out on our recordings. Alex is a brilliant pianist and singer, and many of us who’d made it to the visitation were in choirs and shows together. So there would be singing, with one voice absent above all others. But he would never forgive us if we didn’t sing.

I’m sorry I wasn’t there to join the singing that evening, or the next day at the funeral, but I’m not sure I’d have made it through without breaking down. But poetry can be written through tears. So I give you this, in the hopes it expresses something of what we all feel when someone so full of life and love dies far too soon.

For Tony Ryan, 1975-2013

We fear to leave the dying

even for a moment

as if they’ll be gone when we return

So we stay

and memorize them

as though preparing to take a test

on which our futures depend

And when they die

we arrange appropriate rituals

shuffle in line to give inadequate comfort

tell stories

watch pictures 

hastily found and arranged,

with music once shared 

now shared again

And through unimagined pain

We sing

 Rest in peace, my friend. I still hear your voice.

~MHS

R. W. B. Michael H. Shirley is Assistant Area Deputy Grand Master for the Eastern Area for the Grand Lodge of Illinois A.F. & A.M, as well as a Certified Lodge Instructor and Leadership Development Chairman for the Grand Lodge of Illinois. A Past Master and Life Member of Tuscola Lodge No. 332, a plural member of Island City Lodge No. 330, F & AM, in Minocqua Wisconsin and he is also a member of the Illinois Lodge of Research, the Scottish Rite, the York Rite, Eastern Star, and the Tall Cedars of Lebanon. The author of several articles on British history, he teaches at Eastern Illinois University.

The Lambskin

by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor

Bro. Scott Lamb

I was standing on the checkerboard floor listening to a man I had never met. He was holding a white object that I had heard about and had even seen on the internet but never in person. 

My initiation into the fraternity had been great. The brothers had performed their parts without a hitch as far as I knew. It had been a solemn and spiritual affair. As Brother Hamilton looked at me he started with his lecture. 

Many things were going on at this time in my life, and all of the adversities that I had been through laid heavy on my mind. Up to this point I had lost a son, a grand daughter and a close friend that may as well have been my child. I had been looking for something that could ease my pain that I had been feeling for 15 years. I lost my son at a scout camp. A place where he should have been safe. Due to the carelessness of a "professional" leader he was killed in a tragic accident. This made no sense to me at all. I had lived my life as good as I could. I was a regular church goer and always tried to live a Christian life. I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen. My life had went on and I had felt for the most part that I had been just going through the motions.

Brother Hamilton started with the lines -- I now present you with a lambskin. It's the badge of a mason-- These words caught my attention. He was holding the apron up for me to see. He told me how ancient it was and how great an honor it was that he would be giving to me. As the speech went on I listened carefully to what he had to say, I think that there was some influence from the other side there for me. He went through explaining it, then came to the last part. -- when your  soul stands alone, before the Throne, may you hear my brother,  from the Judge Supreme, the welcome words: Well done though good and faithful servant; enter though into the joy of thy Lord.--I stood there with chills on my arms. For some reason those words were the words I needed to hear at that time. They spoke to my soul and calmed it. Even as I write these words, tears come to my eyes over the turmoil and anger  I had felt. They made me realize that this life is only temporary for any of us and those who have passed on are with our Maker. We are the ones left here that grieve because we can't be with them for awhile. I also came to the realization that I wanted to be worthy to hear those words from That Great Judge myself, how beautiful that would be. It humbled me to receive the Lambskin and made me take stock of my life and figure out how to become better.

Since that time I have had the honor of giving that lecture two times. The first time to my son and the second to an old dear friend of 35 years. It meant so much so much to me to be able to give that lecture. At that time I had found out that my father had terminal cancer. In fact he lived for about 5 weeks after his diagnosis. With this on my heart I gave the lecture but it was not from a feeling of sadness but one of thankfulness. It was an honor to say those same words to my son and my friend. 

What a great blessing we have to belong to a fraternity that meets on the level. Accepts a man for what he has in his heart. I have not been a Mason for a very long time at all but it is the vehicle that helped me to come back to be again the person that I set out to be.

~SL

Bro. Scott Lamb first became interested in Masonry when his son Andy was admitted to Shriners hospital in Salt Lake City. He recalls the great experience he had there. His son actually had 7 surgeries there and that experience is what drove his interest. He had studied freemasonry for quite awhile after that but has only been a Mason since February. He was initiated in February, and Raised on April 30, 2013. He is a member of Damascus #10 lodge in Provo, Utah. He is also a member of the El Kalah Shrine  He will be attending the 222nd reunion of the Orient of Utah. His son Andy is now a Master mason as well. They both feel a strong commitment to help the Shrine with their great work. Some additional information Brother Lamb found was that he is adopted and after researching his biological parents, found that his Birth father was a Master Mason with many accomplishments. His biological maternal grandfather was WM of his lodge and a Scottish Rite Mason as well. Scott was quoted as saying "...so I guess it is in my blood. I feel humbled and motivated to become as good a Mason as they were."

Enthusiasm!

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

Judy Gordon

The real secret of success is enthusiasm. - Walter Chrysler

I have written several stories about my involvement with Job’s Daughters. You see, I have been involved with this great organization since I have been three years old. I was my aunt’s flower girl for her Honored Queen’s installation. In my mind, I was the best flower girl EVER! But if you should talk to her, I am sure she would give you a different story.

Just recently our Bethel (#55 Pekin) had a prospective party (inviting young ladies to learn about our organization). We invited another bethel (#111 Elmwood) to join us and they brought prospective members as well. This was also a Halloween party so a prerequisite was a costume. If not, a donation to H.I.K.E. would be made. The Master of Empire lodge #126 was the judge for the costume party and he was impressed that both Bethel's worked together and were enthused with what they doing.

Of the six prospects that came to the party, two have been initiated already (#55); and one girl that has been initiated has a petition filled out and she hasn’t even been to her first meeting after initiation!!! She was so impressed with our bethel that she asked a friend to join us. Now that is what I call enthusiasm!!!

Enthusiasm comes from the top and works its way down. As I see local bethels grow, the girls notice the enthusiasm from their Bethel Guardian and the council members. If they have enthusiasm, the girls will catch it and you will see the bethel grow.


As you can see these young ladies are so enthusiastic, I wish I could bottle and sell it!!
Get excited, show your enthusiasm, be proud, I am!!!!

~JAG

Judy Gordon is very active in Job's Daughters. She's the Past Honored Queen, and Past Bethel Guardian of Bethel No. 55, Pekin (IL). She received the Cryptic Masons Masonic Youth Leadership Award along with her husband, Ray Gordon in July 2007. She's also Past Matron of the Morton Chapter No. 974 (IL) of the Order of the Eastern Star and Historian of the Emblem Club No. 424 of Pekin (IL). Judy is the recipient of the Degree of Royal Purple (2012) and elected to the Grand Line Illinois Job's Daughters (2015-16). Boaz joined the family in September 2013 and grandmother of 3 wonderful grandsons.

I Was A Mason Before I Entered A Lodge

by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor

Bro. Rob Walk

The Rockville Bridge in Marysville,
 PA.The longest stone arch bridge in the world.

This weekend, the weekend of October 26th, a lot was going on. My parents just brought home a new Bassett Hound puppy, my wife and I's 3rd Annual Hershey Park in the Dark, Jepthah Lodge's covered dish dinner, the PA Renaissance Faire. Honestly, I could go on. Unfortunately we had to skip dinner at the lodge in favor of coming back home for the weekend -- back to Pennsylvania.

You see, I'm from Pennsylvania. Perry County, Pennsylvania to be exact. My wife and I both come from big, loving families in this area. It had been a month since we've been up to visit family from our new home in Northern Maryland. As I was driving back to pick up my wife, from seeing Mom and Dad "out the valley", I decided to take a little drive through my old hometown. I took the back roads like I used to, remembering all the great times I had there, with buddies from high school, driving around in that beat up Firebird Jim used to have.

I decided to take a drive up one street in particular -- Sylvan Street. It wasn't often that I drove back this street, but when I did one building in particular always stuck out at me: Perry Lodge No. 458, F.&.A.M. I always wondered what the building was for, what Freemasonry was, why those old men from my hometown wore those giant gold rings with the square and compasses on them. What did it really mean to them to be able to call themselves Masons?

It is only at this point in time, being 26 years old and a newly minted Mason, that I can begin to understand what it means to take such a step in a man's life. Truthfully, I wasn't ready to take the step -- but is any Man ever honestly prepared for such a commitment? I believe that question is the very basis for taking the next step in the first place. 

Once upon a time, at the ripe old age of 20, I began contemplating taking the step into Freemasonry as my honest-to-God initiation into Manhood. At the time I was the Logistics Manager for a humble local live sound company that did work in Central PA, and other locations in the mid-Atlantic region. I became interested in the square and compasses in general, and what they meant symbolically just for myself as a non-Mason. I purchased a book called Freemasons for Dummies, by Bro. Christopher Hodapp. In it I read about many great men that were a part of the fraternity, its basic tenets, the manner in which these great men conducted themselves, etc.

Highly impressed as I was, I asked my boss at the sound company, who is also a great friend of mine, what he knew of and thought about the Freemasons. He told me that they were a great group of men, and indeed his Grandfather was among the likes of them. He told me that he contemplated joining many times, but just could not bring himself to do it, because he could not possibly keep anything from his, at the time, girlfriend. So, though I thought so highly of it, eventually it fell by the wayside, and I moved on. My personality and mannerisms at the time would not have allowed Greatness to come about within me. I was an anti-socialite. A punk-rocker. I wore the Chuck Taylor Converses, black shirts, ripped jeans and so forth, and didn't think much of the old men that surrounded me. In fact, I thought they were the lowest of the low, and how could I possibly join the likes of them, being the rebellious tween that I was?

Yes, I was an anti-socialite, trying to go against the grain, love everyone, and be everything to everybody. A couple years later, 24 years old, I met my future wife. I was still a punk, but somehow, she made me want to be a better person, a better man. She brought feelings from within me that truly began to change my ways. So one day, as I was driving through town, I passed by the local Masonic lodge, and a new seed took root in my mind. Could it be time to join Freemasonry?

I watched the videos of the Ben Franklin impersonator, and was asked, "Is there Greatness in you?" At the time, I was working at a local credit union. A regular member walked up to me, at the teller line, and for the first time I noticed that famous golden ring on his hand -- square and compasses emboldened in red upon it. Immediately, as I recognized that ring, I asked him what lodge he belonged to.


Of course it was, "Perry Lodge in Marysville. Do you know it?" "I sure do. I'm from Marysville, myself. In fact I've been thinking of becoming a Mason. How can I do that?" Sure enough, that Brother had a petition right in his pocket. He handed it to me, I filled it out, and the next time he saw me he signed my first line as we stood there on the teller line. He took it to the lodge with him at the next stated meeting, and the wheels were set in motion. I was excited, I was full of hope, I was shaking from nervousness. But I shouldn't have been nervous.

It was such at the time that I was taking classes at the local community college, dating my future wife, working a full time job, etc. And when the call came around from the investigative committee, I was relaxing in the living room with her. I saw the number on my phone, and was reluctant to pick it up, because by this time, I had already made the determination that I wasn't ready for the commitment. There was not enough time in my life to make the meetings and do the work. I was going to tell him that I would be withdrawing my petition.

So, I did. Yet again, I wasn't ready. By the time her and I moved in together into Essex, Maryland, I had been contemplating joining for 5 years. I was now 25, full time job, renting an apartment with my fiancé. Finally, I had time. No school, no extra-curriculars; just work and being a man of the house. I had been reading The Midnight Freemasons blog, as I had been doing for a straight three weeks -- article, after article, after article. I decided to finally look up the local lodge.

There it was -- Jephthah Lodge No. 222, A.F.&A.M. in Essex, MD. I emailed them and waited. After about two weeks I received a reply back from the Lodge Secretary, and was asked to come visit one night for dinner. I was nervous and waited a couple of weeks, but finally one day decided I was going to go and knock on their door. I filled out the petition, but it said on the petition that a man must be of residence of the state of Maryland for at least one year.

Again, I wasn't ready. I had only been living there since August of 2012. It was January of 2013.

I submitted the petition anyway, and with the help of Jephthah Lodge was able to finally be initiated on October 15th of 2013. They were given permission from the Grand Lodge of Maryland, so it took a little time for the process to continue -- a long ten months to be exact -- but it was certainly worth it.
So, what truly makes a man ready to join the fraternity and become a Freemason?

The truth is that a man is never completely ready to take that step. It is the Greatness within him, given by God himself, that will make him ready to join. From what I can see, it is Masonry itself that makes you ready for the next step after that, as the time and work are put in at the quarry. No man is perfect, that is made quite evident by what we as Masons do, along with the life experiences that we continue to encounter day after day in our personal journeys. If we continue to wait until the perfect time to take the next step, the next step will take an eternity to make. I found out as much over my own five years of contemplation, and I will never regret making the decision.

My journey has finally begun, and my heart thanks me every day for it.


~RW

Bro. Robert Walk is the creator and sole writer for On Freemasonry and Humble Pie: a Tumblr blog dedicated to his experiences and journey from being a petitioner, to initiate, to the journey to being raised. A dialysis technician being his main work, he enjoys writing, rock climbing, drumming and craft beer in his free time. He is the youngest Entered Apprentice at Jephthah Lodge No. 222, A.F.&A.M. in Essex, MD, and is, at present, working on proficiency.

Freemasonry's Better Half

by Midnight Freemasons Contributor

Todd E. Creason



Todd and Valerie Creason at a Scottish Rite luncheon (2011)

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me."

~Winston Churchill

Studholme Lodge No. 1591, England

In my part of the world, we have a practice when it comes to investigating a petitioner that from what I understand, isn't that widespread.  When our investigating committee calls to arrange a time to meet with a petitioner, if he's a married man--we invite his wife to join us!

It's true.  And there's good reasons for it.  It's a good place to ask questions.  It's a good chance to introduce his wife to who we are, what we do (and don't do), and the things that are important to us.  And of course the most important reason is obvious.  It's unlikely he's going to ever be very involved in Freemasonry if his wife doesn't support his decision to join the Lodge.


Valerie (with helper) managing our trail run

My wife, Valerie, wasn't that thrilled when I brought up the idea of joining the Masonic Lodge.  We'd been down that road before.  I'd briefly been active in another organization some years earlier (I won't say which one).  My friend and I went to the meeting every month for awhile.  The meeting started at 7, the bar opened at 7:30, and I'd wind up walking home at some hour well after Midnight.  I was a little younger then, but it caused problems in the marriage to say the least.  I still pay my dues, but it's been a decade since I've attended a meeting.

But it was pretty clear to her that this was different when three Masons arrived at our house and talked to us about Freemasonry.  They had a few questions for me, and we had a lot of questions for them.  When they finally left, Valerie was almost as excited at the prospect of me being involved in the Fraternity as I was. 

I'm gone quite a bit, and when I'm not attending something Freemasonry related, I'm writing something Freemasonry related.  It's a very involving hobby of mine.  Oddly enough, there's never been one argument in my house about me leaving to go to a meeting--in fact, she'll look at me some evenings and say "isn't there a meeting you could go to?"  She told me one time she doesn't mind me going to meetings and events, because she realizes she has benefited from Freemasonry as much as I have--she's wound up with a better product than the one she married.

My story isn't unique.  It would be impossible for our Fraternity to thrive without the support of our wives.  They don't just let us go to the meeting, most of our wives are right there doing a lot of the work. 

Those two have obviously grown pretty comfortable in a lodge room

I've very fortunate in that department.  I sometimes wonder how many hours Valerie and I have sat at the kitchen table folding, stamping and addressing newsletters.  Or writing out invitations and thank you cards.  I wonder how many tables and chairs she's helped set up and take down.  I wonder how many events she's helped me organize and plan.  She's designed posters, printed event tickets, helped me organize two Masonic Charity Trail Runs, and then gotten up the day of the event and manned the registration trailer herself.  And when our Lodge orders polo shirts from the Secretary (me) to wear at our events, and when they arrive and everyone has the right size and color--well, I'm not the genius behind that miracle.  Thank Valerie for sorting out that mess.  On top of that, I wonder how many hours she's spent reading my blog posts, articles, and book chapters long before anyone else sees them.


A rare occasion when I actually remembered to thank my wife . . .

And guess who we always manage to forget to thank at these events?  You guessed it--our spouses.
 
Always remember that behind any successful Lodge, there's often a collection of very dedicated and hardworking spouses that rarely receive the recognition and thanks they deserve.  So let me just say to all of you right here . . . thank you!  There's no way we could do the things we do without you.

~TEC

Todd E. Creason, 33° is the founder of the Midnight Freemasons blog and continues to be a regular contributor. He is the author of several books and novels, including the Famous American Freemasons series. He is member of Homer Lodge No. 199, and a Past Master of Ogden Lodge No. 754 (IL). He is a member the Scottish Rite Valley of Danville, the York Rite Bodies of Champaign/Urbana (IL), the Ansar Shrine (IL), Eastern Illinois Council No. 356 Allied Masonic Degrees, and Charter President of the Illini High Twelve in Champaign-Urbana (IL).

A Lesson In Pride

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

Bro. Robert Johnson 32°

As Freemasonry is understood, it is "...to make good men better". And so, it is. As a Freemason I struggle, like anyone else with the vices and superfluities of life. I like to think that I leave my ego at the door. I feel as if I treat others the way I would like to be treated. In short, I feel like I practice Freemasonry's tenants as best I can. 

Recently I think I may have forgot about one attribute which snuck up on me and sat me down rather quickly. My wife had been telling me for weeks that her car horn was weak. I knew this, I heard it every time I set the alarm. The last time we brought the car in for service, the technician said "You should think about a new battery soon, this one is getting pretty weak." So long story short, just before my wife has to leave for work, she phones me and says "My car is officially dead." 

Right of the bat, I had forgot about the battery. Luckily she works for a police department and an officer came and picked her up and brought her to the station. But this however was not my transgression. My mistake was pride. The next morning, I woke up early to pick up my wife, she works midnights. On an otherwise cold October morning we were in my Jeep, heat cranked up to 11 and the dog pawing at us from the back seat and I laid down the plans for a simple battery replacement. 

I got my wife home and she went to bed. I went up to the local automotive service center walked confidently up to the battery display, browsed with what must have looked like confusion for a good 10 minutes. I even looked up the type of battery I needed on my smart phone. Now if you think I am some idiot, well I am but not for this reason. I change my oil and do most of the routine maintenance on our vehicles. But this one day, I must have been asked by two or three technicians if I needed help. Each time I said "No thanks.". 

Big mistake. I picked out a battery and went to check out. I felt good. The plan was to travel a whole 6 blocks back home toss in a new battery and I would be on with my day. No sooner did I pull the old battery out, did I get a visit from "Mr. Murphy". So I connected the positive terminal then tightened it. I was half way done. I started to slip on the other terminal connector and the horn from the car started to go off. I honestly couldn't tell you what I was thinking when this was happening because the second I thought about it, I had already made the mistake. 

Not quite this bad. *not my actual car*

It was at that instant, the engine compartment caught fire. I instantly had two options running through my head, one, grab the dead-blow mallet and knock of the negative terminal to stop the reaction and two grab the fire extinguisher. I did just that, in 3 seconds I disconnected the terminal and just as soon did the flames go out except a little fairy of flame dancing on a wire harness in front of the fan. I blew it out like a birthday candle. 

I sat down, I pondered what just happened. As it happens people ask if you need help because that is their job. I turned it down out of pride. In my mind, I was the grandson of an accomplished Naval Electrical Engineer who taught me how to build a Tesla Coil  out of garbage when I was nine years old. That being said, I wasn't thinking. I had in fact bought a battery with reversed terminal pegs than what our car had. I had in effect hooked the positive cable from the car to the negative terminal on the battery and vise versa. 

The weakest point was spawned and a fire ensued. I took the battery back, and the technicians helped me get the right battery. The car was immoveable even after installing the new battery because the ignition is completely electronic. That means I couldn't even put it in neutral. I had to have the car towed to the local dealer and repaired. In all this, a lesson in pride cost me a pretty penny. I guess life has a way of teaching you certain lessons whether you want to learn them or not. Up to this point, I thought I was a pretty "Masonic" kinda' guy. Always questioning my motives and reasons for everything I did, ensuring these pursuits were laudable, righteous and had the best intentions for those around me. 

Ego, check. Greed, check. Pride.....eh I think I get it now. Never be so proud you turn away help. Take the help, listen to suggestions and be grateful for all of it. 


~RHJ


Bro. Robert Johnson, 32° is the Managing Editor of the Midnight Freemasons blog. He is a Freemason out of the First North-East District of Illinois. He belongs to Waukegan Lodge No. 78. He is also a member of the York Rite bodies Royal Arch, Cryptic Council, Knights Templar, AMD, The Illinois Lodge of Research and a member of the Scottish Rite Valley of Chicago as well as a charter member of the Society of King Solomon, a charity organization run by the Grand Lodge of Illinois. Brother Johnson currently produces and hosts a weekly Podcast (internet radio program) Whence Came You? which focuses on topics relating to Freemasonry. In addition, he produces video shorts focusing on driving interest in the Fraternity and writes original Masonic papers from time to time. He is a husband and father of three. He works full time in the safety industry and is also a photographer on the side as well as an avid home brewer. He is currently working on a book of Masonic essays.