On Becoming A Mason: Pt. 2

Deciding to Petition

by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor

Fellow: Matthew H. Mistal

A few years had passed since I had any real conversation with my friend about Masonry. In that time, I guess you could say we settled into life. My wife was doing a great job on the homefront, and our kids were in Pre-K. Law school ended, and I passed the bar exam. Work was still called “work” and not “play,” and my commute still gave my sciatic nerves reason to scream.

I remember thinking that we needed to get “involved.” This was more than just going to every birthday party or going out to dinner with friends or barbecuing. That all seems to be part of what a typical suburban life would be. I just felt like we were not doing everything we could outside of our family life.

We simply needed something to drag us into the community, so I started looking around. In the end, as noble as the surrounding organizations may be, they all either seemed to create the community they served or served only their immediate locality. There was nothing about education, nothing about self-improvement, nothing about serving the global community.

Then I remembered: Freemasonry. My friend had recently been installed Master of his lodge, evidence to me that the Masons were a meritocracy. The time was now right. While reading late one night, I Googled a few things. I found the Grand Lodge of New York’s page and found several lodges within my vicinity.

I read through the entire Grand Lodge site, including the “Becoming a Mason” section. With the care and pride with which the “About” sections were written, the notes on how Masons should conduct themselves in social media, the information it presented effortlessly, I re-discovered my interest in Freemasonry and re-upped my decision to pursue membership. I deemed it kismet and started e-mailing the Grand Lodge and the lodge closest to my house inquiring about membership. I did not mention it to my friend.

The Master of my local lodge returned my e-mail asking about why I was interested and re-directing me to the Grand Lodge’s site for additional information. He also posed a question I was not expecting: what did I offer Masonry. I honestly had no idea how to respond, so I reflected for a few days, wrote and re-wrote. No response was adequate in my mind.

I went back and tried to figure out what I really thought Masonry was. Only a paradox seemed to describe it. I thought Masonry was a fraternity that was others-centric but self-focused. It reminded me very much of the Jesuits. In my studies under their tutelage I picked up a lot, including ideals by which I have always strived to live my life.

In his Freshman Address to my undergrad class, Rev. Joseph McShane, SJ, offered a simple phrase. “Those to whom much is given, much, in turn, is expected.” I thought this paraphrase of Luke and Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben was nice then, and a great way of reminding us that even though our school was beautiful and the professors are giving, we had to do the work. I was wrong; it was a call.

In my senior year, I attended a talk called “The Secret Power of the Jesuits” by Rev. John O’Malley, SJ. Whenever anyone asked Fr. O’Malley how he was doing, he would reply, “Better than I deserve to be.” He explained the reason behind this was that life is a gift, and if life is a gift, then everything in it is a gift. He also defined “gift” as something a person receives that he or she did not earn. The secret power of the Jesuits was this perspective – recognizing that everything was a gift, nothing was deserved, so take full advantage of our time, even the bad times, as we deserve nothing.

My response to the Master was that I wanted to learn and grow, improve the community while improving myself. I brought with me the notions that life is a tremendous gift and that everything we do should be conscious acts accepting and embracing that gift. I listed some of my gifts, namely my wife and children, my ability to learn, and this desire always to see each and every experience as a gift, as something I did not deserve. And since a gift the size of the world carries huge expectations, I also brought those and the efforts required to meet them.

I finally thought the response good enough, and so I clicked “send.” Since the exchange continued, and we made plans to meet to discuss my interest in person, I assumed that it was.

~MM

Fellow: Matt Mistal is just beginning his masonic journey and is currently a FC in Yorktown Lodge #1154. When not listening to an endless stream of music and podcasts during the world's longest commute, he enjoys reading and writing but, above all, spending time with his wife and two children. He is licensed to practice law in New York and can be reached at mmistal@optonline.net

On Becoming A Mason: Pt. 1

My Interest

by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor

Fellow: Matthew H. Mistal

Several years ago, out of the blue, a friend asked me what I knew about Freemasonry. He said he was looking into joining and wanted my opinion. I replied shrilly with what I remembered from European History class in high school, laughingly with the conspiracy theories the History Channel was promulgating and factually that I had seen them making IDs for kids at a few community events.

Coldly and frankly, I also told him my opinion should not matter and that if this was something he thought would improve his life, he should do it. I explained that I did not have an opinion, that it would be unfair of me to have an opinion as I really knew nothing about them. A few paragraphs in a textbook and craziness from a TV network that regularly aired fifty documentaries on Nazi Germany alongside UFO Hunters interspersed with reverse mortgage ads would not suffice. However, I did offer two observations: the IDs seemed like a nice service and the guys who staffed the booths were always smiling and laughing together.

A few days later, he told me was about to petition a lodge and that he would like to use me as a reference. I told him I would help in any way I could. The next time it came up, he explained he was going through his first degree that same night. We spoke about it the next day. As hard as I pressed, he offered no details, just said that it was moving and not dangerous. This was just enough to tease me.

Over the next few months, he changed. I could not put my finger on it. He seemed happier, had more confidence, focused on everything around us at all times. He was also studying; he took quiet time to himself. I was always curious, so I asked him what was going on. He explained it was Masonry. He had to elaborate. There were social events, to be sure, but Masonry was about serving others and improving himself. He wanted to put as much effort into it as possible. I of course, did not understand.

Weeks passed and each conversation on Masonry remained as nebulous as the last. All he would offer was that one gets out of Masonry what one puts into it. I admit it was a frustrating line of conversation. Finally, I just remarked that I did not understand it, but that it seemed like he had been operating at full capacity after joining, and it was good to see. He glowed while speaking about his new brothers and the fraternity and their good works and their fellowship and how much he was learning.

It seemed too good to be true, but I decided then that I had to see for myself. I asked my friend about joining, and he said he would be happy to be a reference. However, something kept getting in my head- the statement about only getting out what gets put in.

Simply, I knew Masonry meant so much to my friend because he put so much effort into it. At the time, I was working long hours, with a three-hour daily commute, while attending law school part time and raising newborn twins. My wife is a saint, but adding something else to our plate at the time might well have put her in the Communion of Saints. It was not the right time, so I dropped it with my friend and did not speak to him about it again for another few years. I knew that when the time was right, I would explore it.

~MM

Fellow: Matt Mistal is just beginning his masonic journey and is currently a FC in Yorktown Lodge # 1154. When not listening to an endless stream of music and podcasts during the world's longest commute, he enjoys reading and writing but, above all, spending time with his wife and two children. He is licensed to practice law in New York and can be reached at mmistal@optonline.net