Moments That Matter - Mentoring

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

Bro. Randy Sanders

One of my guilty pleasures is the pride that comes from helping others succeed.  In this, I specifically mean mentoring in Masonic, professional career, and even friends and family mentoring.  I am blessed to continue benefiting from mentors and guides throughout my life, and when I finally got it through my thick skull I could and should give back?  The joy and gratitude doubled, maybe tripled.  Mentoring others may not be your strong suit, but I learned listening deeply and quietly without interrupting or just asking for additional detail brings depth and contemplation in all participants in any conversation.

I learned a valuable lesson from my studies in the Scottish Rite’s Academy Of Reflection: sometimes it is just listening and letting the person express their thoughts.  Other times it is asking a gentle question to explore something they said.  I personally benefited much from analogy and allegory when my own mentors would relate a story back to me, and I appreciate the nuance of a well-placed question such as “what were you experiencing at that moment” or something as simple as “how did that make you feel?”  

Giving advice seems appropriate as we tend to want to “fix” the situation presented to us, but good listening takes that conversation to a deeper level.  I learned that I wanted to express my own thoughts and experiences along with the person speaking, and I learned often my own experiences were best kept to myself until the conversation was at a long pause or stopping point.  Only after the whole picture could be expressed did anything I might offer be relevant.

Then, after fully exploring the situation or experience, the solution or path forward often manifested for the individual.  Mentoring became a challenge to me to simply sit in mostly silence as the person saw my perspective through a few questions, and they often found their own solutions without any guidance from me.  This was a moment that mattered.  This self-discovery of an idea or direction that I helped guide often paralleled my own advice, yet all I did was encourage the person to explore their own thoughts.  We all benefit when we discover moments that matter.

Occasionally my own experiences came into play with a related story of how I approached a similar issue, and I tried to relate experiences in a manner that could draw a parallel analogy.  That didn’t always work.  What did work was honesty in describing my own situational failures and how I learned overcoming mistakes helped make me who I am today.  I make plenty of mistakes that turn into lessons both embarrassing and not.

Ego wants us to tell our own story.  The lessons of the Entered Apprentice include the silence and patience with which we can listen with quiet intention, not interrupting others while they tell their story.  Ego can be difficult to overcome, and direct practice in listening turned out to be a skill I developed with some rough edges still poking through.  I continue to find myself talking more than listening at times, and my own lessons become my own moments that matter to me.

We as Masons should focus on these moments that matter to us, to our Brothers, and to friends and family.  To strangers, simply giving someone a compliment may be the moment that mattered to them.  Asking strangers to pass along the good to someone else may brighten someone else’s day.  That moment mattered to someone downstream, and the beauty of giving a stranger a good moment never gets old.  You may never realize how much a compliment mattered in that moment to others, but if you don’t give it you will never manifest that kindness.

Our challenge remains to recognize moments that matter.  We influence people around us, and we affect them with our attitude.  Are you approaching people with gratitude and love, or are you hauling the heavy load of ego into your conversations and encounters?  Are you taking time to find the moments that matter to you through contemplation and reflection?  Are you helping others with moments that matter?

~RS

Randy and his wife Elyana live near St. Louis, Missouri, USA. Randy earned a bachelor's Degree in Chemistry with an emphasis in Biochemistry, and he works in Telecom IT management. He volunteers as a professional and personal mentor, NRA certified Chief Range Safety Officer, and enjoys competitive tactical pistol, rifle, and shotgun. He has 30-plus years of teaching Wing Chun Kung Fu, Chi Kung, and healing arts. Randy served as a Logistics Section Chief on two different United States federal Disaster Medical Assistance Teams over a 12-year span. Randy is a 32nd-degree KCCH and Knight Templar. His Masonic bio includes past Lodge Education Officer for two symbolic lodges, Founder of the Wentzville Lodge Book Club, member of the Grand Lodge of Missouri Education Committee, Sovereign Master of the E. F. Coonrod AMD Council No. 493, Co-Librarian of the Scottish Rite Valley of St. Louis, Clerk for the Academy of Reflection through the Valley of Guthrie, and a Facilitator for the Masonic Legacy Society. Randy is a founding administrator for Refracted Light, a full contributor to Midnight Freemasons, and an international presenter on esoteric topics. Randy hosts an open ongoing weekly Masonic virtual Happy Hour on Friday evenings. Randy is an accomplished home chef, a certified barbecue judge, raises Great Pyrenees dogs, and enjoys travel and philosophy.

Serving as a Steward

By Midnight Freemasons Senior Contributor

W.B. Gregory J. Knott

I will be serving as the Senior Steward of St. Joseph Lodge No. 970 this coming year. WB Darin Lahners, Master of St. Joseph Lodge appointed me to this position and I am glad to serve.

As I was being installed during a meeting held virtually on Zoom, I listened to the ritual from the Illinois Book of Ceremonials; “....you are appointed Senior Steward of St. Joseph Lodge No. 970, and will now be invested with the jewel and rod of your office. You are to assist the deacons and other officers in performing their respective duties, and when the lodge is at refreshment it will by your province to extend to visiting brethren such attentions as circumstances may suggest. Your regular and early attendance at our meetings will afford the best proof of zeal and attachment to the lodge. You will repair to your respective place in the lodge.”

As I thought about what these duties were, I thought to myself, this job is really a good fit for me. I had already served as Master of St. Joseph Lodge in 2011, so I’ve already had the opportunity to sit in the Oriental Chair. I have never been one to be a Grumpy Past Master, so I am eager to help the lodge try new things and do it differently than I did as Master.

I enjoy working with new members, especially those that may be holding an office for the first time. I’m not a great ritualist, but I know enough to help get them to know and understand the work. As Senior Steward, I am in a good position to assist in this role.

Greeting visitors and ensuring they have a good experience in visiting our lodge is of utmost importance. A friendly lodge is a place where they will want to return. This kind of welcoming atmosphere is vital for brothers to have the ability to learn, achieve personal growth, and get those things out of masonry that we so boldly promise during the degree work.

As a Steward I am charged with being a regular attendee of meetings and to ensure I am there early. Doing so illustrates my zeal and attachment to lodge. But is merely showing up early and often enough? My answer is no, there is more to be done.

So many times, we end up putting brothers in the Stewards chairs, just so we can fill the slate of officers for the year, even when in many cases we know they might never actually come to the meeting. But the Senior Steward is in a unique position to have a great influence in the lodge through assisting other brothers and helping foster the atmosphere for our brothers to become all they might be.

I am looking forward to my year as Senior Steward.

~GJK

WB Gregory J. Knott is a founding member and Senior Contributor of the Midnight Freemasons blog. He is a Past Master of St. Joseph Lodge No. 970 in St. Joseph (IL) and a plural member of Ogden Lodge No. 754 (IL), Homer Lodge No. 199 (IL) and Naval Lodge No. 4 in Washington, DC. He’s a member of the Scottish Rite, the York Rite, Eastern Star and is the Charter Secretary of the Illini High Twelve Club No. 768 in Champaign-Urbana. He is also a member of ANSAR Shrine (IL) and the Eastern Illinois Council No. 356 Allied Masonic Degrees. Greg serves on the Board of Directors of The Masonic Society and is a member of the Scottish Rite Research Society and The Philathes Society. He is a charter member of a new Illinois Royal Arch Chapter, Admiration Chapter U.D. and serves as its Secretary. Greg is very involved in Boy Scouts—an Eagle Scout himself, he is a member of the National Association of Masonic Scouters. You can contact him at gknott63@gmail.com

In Praise of Conductors

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

Bro. Erik Marks

The first things I used to think of with the mention of the word,"conductor" were: music, electricity, and trains. These are still fine examples of the word. The direction and coordination of a large group of musicians, when done well, the conductor is the heart of the music, co-creating it with the people holding and operating instruments. In wiring, electricity travels on the outside of the conductor, something known as the skin effect. It is also what protects you from lightning inside a car or faraday cage. The better the conductor, the easier the flow of electrons to their destination. A superconductor is a material or a material treated in a particular manner. They are cooled to close to absolute zero (less than 1K or around -260 C) wherein all resistance vanishes. Facilitating travel, the train conductor collects tickets, aids in operations, and has the unfortunate task of ejecting the unruly.

Socrates was said to be the midwife of the soul. A conductor of sorts whose philosophic technique still moves me to other places and frames of mind that I find pleasingly challenging. I sometimes feel my soul moving. My mother, using her body, conducted me from concept to creation, my first home in this world. I am grateful to her for using her-self to bring me to life. Parents, relatives, teachers, friends, conducted me through early years to adaptations, ideas and knowledge I appreciate, and some I’m still working to renovate. Literature is filled with all sorts of guides, gurus, and other forms of conductors.

At the start of my Masonic journey, several men brought me to, or to me, conversations about my intentions, qualifications, and expectations. Some of them met with my family to discuss these same questions and offered counsel if there were concerns about my voluntary choice to join. Most of these men were present during my degrees. Three (LaJoie, Gianoukos, and Crooks) endured over breakfast, a lengthy interrogation by me, Corinna, and our sons, as to why women were excluded from what we do (which is when I learned first about GES, Amaranth, & Rainbow Girls).

Now, my experience of the word, "conductor", has significantly changed; my personal experience with the idea, broadened. I was led to the door, the West Gate, to the threshold of my conscious mind and instructed in our way to ask for greater understanding of myself, through our unique process. I was caringly and thoughtfully guided and prompted through the steps, stages, and lessons in darkness and light. Brothers Grenier, Snyder, LaJoie, and Goetz and will always remain presences and voices in my mind of those who tended to my preparation and conducted me through ritual with dignity and grace. Between degrees, Brothers Crooks, Bodley, and Ehrlich helped me perfect the words I needed to perform to progress. Worshipful Marks will always be the face I visualize in the east when I recite the ritual to myself or practice with a new, “younger,” brother.

More recently, as mentors and friends, a host of new and previous Brothers guide and conduct my progress. Worshipful Snyder recently performed from memory a lengthy introduction of me at my first presentation to a Lodge of Instruction (though following the amazing conversation brought by the Brethren who attended at Mt. Hollis Lodge in Holliston, MA, I now think of it as “Lodge of Inspiration”). As I’ve had good fortune to travel, Brothers Jackson, Jarzabek, and Johnson help me through what I write; they help me edit, and encourage me to persist when I feel like giving up.

So, I write in praise of those who have conducted me this far and to those who continue. As a group, you are my superconductors! (Though “cool” people, these superconductors operate at room temperature and also, decidedly, not in a vacuum. Room temperature superconductors are mostly theoretical, where the above-mentioned human conductors are verifiably, real). With gratitude I hold dear those mentioned by name and the many more not named here. We repeat it because it is true: I would never have met these amazing people if it had not been for Freemasonry. The diversity in their thoughts, backgrounds, and ways of living challenge me to rethink what I know, and how I came to know. They present me with their full selves so that I may be present fully as I am, and we figure it out. Through repeated contact, we grow in trust and capacity to be and act harmoniously in the face of criticism, challenge, disagreement (also in fun and faux pas): we help and instruct one another to do this work, together. As in a super-conductive state, our resistance to ourselves and others diminishes, maybe vanishes, in the presence of others who wish only to aid in our growth and learning; to help with the transmission of knowledge, experience, and self-understanding.

I encourage you to consider those still standing among us who have conducted you through life to reading this post. Let them know the ways they have shaped your experience in, and more importantly, outside, lodge. For those whom have been your conductor though no longer with us, consider sharing a story about them with another brother, in writing, maybe…here.

~EAM

Brother Erik Marks is a clinical social worker whose usual vocation has been in the field of human services in a wide range of settings since 1990. He was raised in 2017 by his biologically younger Brother and then Worshipful Master in Alpha Lodge in Framingham, MA. You may contact brother Marks by email: erik@StrongGrip.org