Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disappointment. Show all posts

Disappointment, Burnout, and Knowing When to Walk Away

by Midnight Freemason Contributor
Bro. Erik Geehern



This past Wednesday, as I read WB Lahner's “Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes” post, it resonated with me on so many levels.  Specifically, this; “However, the job of being the Blog's editor is time-consuming, thankless, and sometimes frustrating.”

Two months into my year in the East I sat down and wrote down my thoughts, mostly as a way for me to vent.  I was frustrated and disappointed in the participation levels in my Lodge at the time. As a new Master, I was trying to invigorate our small country Lodge and do things differently than they had been done before. In my eagerness to revitalize our Lodge, I might have set my expectations too high, hoping to see a surge of engagement and renewed enthusiasm.  

I ended that written rant with this; “It may be time to humbly admit that my expectations might have been overly ambitious, and I am dedicated to working alongside all my Brothers to create an atmosphere of unity and purpose within our Lodge.”

It is now about seven months later, and sadly nothing has really changed.  We all know Masonry is a volunteer organization, one that takes a back seat to family, faith, or work commitments.  I agree wholeheartedly with that sentiment and have put things ahead of my attending a meeting or rehearsal many times myself.  Still, I must admit that I find myself feeling disappointed in some of my Brothers.  

Recently I called for a meeting to discuss our Lodges finances as well as a few other items I think could use a revision in our bylaws.  It snowed the morning of the meeting and several Brothers reached out stating we should cancel due to the weather and the road conditions, even though the snow had stopped by 1 pm and the roads were perfectly clear well before our 6:30 pm meeting.  In the interest of ensuring we had maximum participation, I postponed the meeting. 

Several Brothers then reached out complaining about the postponement… To ensure we didn’t have a repeat I decided we would make the meeting virtual, that way if the weather interfered again, it would not be an issue.  Not surprisingly several Brothers reached out to complain they are incapable of joining virtually.  So, I made the meeting hybrid, I would meet at the Lodge and set it up on our big screen, everyone can come in person or attend online, whatever works for them. Including myself, seven Brothers participated. One of the Brothers who reached out to me three times to complain in one fashion or another about this meeting did not come.

Seven months ago, I wrote about how we had a toy drive to benefit the Shriner’s Hospital for Children in Philadelphia.  This is something that our Lodge has done for about three years now. We have one toy drive in July for the Centurion “Christmas in July” event and another in December for the holidays.  We have one Brother who takes all our donations down personally each year and supplies us with pictures for our newsletter.  I’m not sure if it is even worth including in our next issue, we had two or three Brothers contribute, and that’s it.  In total those few Brothers donated about ten full grocery bags filled with toys, so we should be proud that we were able to contribute to a very worthy cause.  Our December toy drive fared even worse.  I just can’t shake the knowledge that we could have and should have, done much more.

We had three worthy Entered Apprentices we were preparing a Fellow Craft Degree for.  In our Lodge, the Senior Warden leads that effort and sits in the East for the Degree.  We had about six rehearsals in total, no more than three or four Brothers were able to attend any given rehearsal night for various reasons.  Pretty hard to rehearse for a degree without the officers that have important roles.  Eventually, we made a difficult decision to have our Brothers be passed in a Fellow Craft Degree at a neighboring Lodge, as we felt it was unfair to hold these Brothers back in their Masonic progress.  We still have one EA we need to prepare a Degree for as he was unable to attend.  I think it looks likely we will be asking for another Lodge’s assistance once again.

In my usual vocation, I have managed small and large teams.  I have had up to ninety direct reports and at one time was responsible for approximately seven hundred employees.  I understand the struggles of motivation in the workforce.  My usual tactics will not work in the Lodge, it's not like I can increase wages for increased performance or offer bonuses to top-performing units.  Every member of our Lodge joined for the same core reasons, to be a part of something bigger than themselves, to become better men, to learn and grow.  Why then is every Brother not giving it his all and holding himself to higher expectations?

But as I reflect on this, I am compelled to question whether my expectations are indeed too high. After all, Freemasonry is built upon the foundation of unity, friendship, and mutual support, and each Brother contributes according to his abilities and circumstances.

I remember early in my career being so frustrated with some of my employees and the condition in which they would leave the store at night.  I would come in and have to re-sweep and mop the floors, clean the glass, empty trash, etc.  Eventually, I learned it was completely unrealistic to expect some team members to care as much about the store as I did.  I was a salaried manager, there fifty-plus hours a week, and ultimately, I was responsible for every aspect of the store.  Why would a high school student, making minimum wage work ten or fifteen hours a week because he needs gas money care as much as I do about the condition of the store?  On average, they won’t, and I really can’t blame them.

I guess Masonry has some of the same dichotomies.  Not every Mason is willing or able to make Masonry a full-time commitment.  My two children are a bit older and largely can take care of themselves.  I highly doubt if I had an infant or a toddler, I would be able to participate at the level I do now.  I’m sure when I am older and have grandchildren if I get a last-minute call on a meeting night to come watch the kids I would jump at that opportunity.  I am sure some Brothers are in very different financial positions than I am, and simply may not be able to contribute to the myriad of fundraisers and donation requests that are put forth throughout the year.  

I have no doubt that anyone who has sat in the East can relate to the feeling of frustration when you put so much effort into something and those efforts simply are not reciprocated, or even appreciated.  I often discuss with one very close Brother, who participates in everything our Lodge does, the ongoing frustration I feel.  Sometimes just being able to vent helps.  Maybe it’s a bit of seasonal affective disorder, but I have thought maybe it is time to affiliate with a more active Lodge and move on.  My Masonic District has thirteen Lodges.  Most are in similar situations as my own, some better, some worse.  A few stand out as active, growing in membership, and generally on the rise.  However, our small Lodge is in a position where the loss of even one active Brother would be devastating. There is no way I can allow our Lodge which has existed and served our community for almost 170 years to fail. 

If seven Brothers could start this Lodge in 1855, surely seven can help get it back on track in 2024.  So, am I disappointed? Yes.  Am I burnt out? A little.  Am I ready to walk away? Not a chance.


~EG

Bro. Erik M. Geehern is currently Master of Goshen Masonic Lodge #365 in Goshen, NY under the Grand Lodge of New York. He was raised to the sublime degree of Master Mason in October of 2019 and since then has served in various progressive chairs along the road to the east. He writes and curates a newsletter for his Lodge quarterly which disseminates education, history, and esoterics. He is also a member of the Grand College of Rites, the American Lodge of Research, and the Kansas Lodge of Research. He works in restaurant operations & consulting, and when not engaged in his usual vocation, or laboring in the Craft, he loves spending time with his wife and two children.

A Disturbing Trait

by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor
Mark St. Cyr

The glaring issue I have come across in my short time since being raised (5 years), is that most of the issues the Craft struggles with can be simply attributed to one thing, which is this… 


The overwhelmingly, obvious, lackadaisical approach to any dedication for professionalism concerning all aspects of their duties to the Craft.

  

I have not only witnessed egregious examples of this personally but rather, I have also been the recipient of such ineptitude. And yes: “ineptitude” is the correct word, as I’ll explain. The “glaring issue” I’m using to encapsulate my  argument can be boiled down into the following  statement: 

Far too many Masons look at the assignments,  whether volunteered or assigned as if they are fulfilling an obligation on par with an afterthought.  And, both the assignor and/or recipient of such should be “happy” if not “grateful” they even tried. Said differently: Fulfillment is not a requisite, it’s  more along the lines of, “Well, at least they tried.” 


I’m sorry, children try - not fully grown adult men who gave their word. Period. And if that offends someone? Hint: you’re still thinking from the former context, not the latter. Again, period, full stop. I  make no excuses for it, neither should you.

 

In the business world: If you are assigned or take on the responsibility to do a task, and don’t fulfill it to a  company standard? You are either shown the door or,  you’re reprimanded and instructed on how it is to be performed the next time. And if not - you then may still be shown the door.


Here’s an example… 


Hypothetical: A person works for a diner. The owner needs to be away over the weekend and asks them to open and close the restaurant in his absence and entrusts them with the keys for doing so.  


They’re not a “manager,” just regular help. They normally work weekdays 10am - 6pm. However,  weekend hours are 8am - 4pm.  


The owner states “Just be there to open the doors  (unlock) and close (lock them), the regular staff will  handle the rest.” 


That Saturday they show up at precisely 8am to open the doors to a waiting line of weekend staffers with about 5 - 10 patrons waiting to enter and order.  Those “staffers and patrons” are not at all that  “happy” with them showing up precisely at 8am.  


Do they have a point? Hint: You bet they do. 


Here’s the issue:

As those staffers and patrons complain and make their irritancy known. The person that arrived at 8am to open will be thinking the whole time: “What?! I was here on time, and this isn’t even my normal work schedule. I’m doing the owner a favor just being here. Geeez.” 


See the issue here? 


Anyone that understands food prep and food service (and every Mason that puts on a fundraiser knows all too well) that when you “open” at 8am that means- you are ready to begin taking orders then and there.  


You don’t start the grill at 8am, or start brewing the coffee at 8am. No, the grill is hot and ready to drop an egg on it at 8am. The coffee is ready to be poured into a cup at 8am, so on and so forth.  Normally there is an hour of prep (e.g., 7am) before the doors open for business. 


Now here’s the qualifier I alluded to prior… 


If the person never understood the prep that went into the day before his shift started. And, was in  many ways “a rookie?” You (the owner) can be upset. However, the upset issue is - with you (the owner). i.e., You would be more upset with yourself for not fully appreciating their skill level before you asked. Then, you would learn to not let it happen again. 


However, if they are a seasoned worker and know full well the intricacies? Your “explanation” will more or less be on the lines of how and why they’re being shown the door. i.e., They (seasoned staff) know they need to be there an hour prior. 


Are we on the same page here for understanding?  Great, let’s move on. 


I have borne witness to so many egregious displays of unprofessionalism within the Craft in respect to  “duties,” it’s a wonder I even made it through the  West Gate. When I originally “Knocked…” I used one Lodge’s website portal to inquire as it instructed to no reply. I then repeatedly sent emails as a follow-up to where the WM of that Lodge sent me a very apologetic reply (I accepted, and still do, as truthful)  that things happen, and he would personally help me in going through the process and did so.


Then came time for my: Investigation. Through our conversations, he notified me that they had assigned an investigation committee to me and I would be hearing from them shortly. I never did. 


Weeks went by - nothing. I emailed the WM who was totally apologetic (and I believe was sincere) and said he would find out what was happening and get back to me. He did, said he had spoken with the person assigned and they would be contacting me within the next few days. I let two weeks go by, again - nothing. I emailed this WM nearly apologetic in my resentment to how I was being treated. How was it that the WM (remember, at this time, I have no clue about hierarchy except perceived notions that they are “boss.”) can be instructing people do something - and they are not doing it?  


Weeks had now turned into months going by. Is there something about me that I’m not being told? I  was purely in a “What is all this about?!” conundrum.


Finally, in a final emailing with the WM, he informed  me after trying to get to the reasoning why, he then stated (paraphrasing): “I was told they were just too  busy to get to you, work things had come up and I would now need to get someone else to do it.” He apologized profusely for this happening. And it was here rather than remain angry I actually felt sad for him, for it was truly a disservice to him and said so. I then instructed him to withdraw my petition, send me back my money, and I would rethink my reasoning for entertaining the thought of joining, and, more than likely, would never darken a  masonic doorway ever again. 


That was my first dealings with the Craft - it has not been the last. (I’m beginning to think many might  feel better if I stayed with that thought, but that’s for  another article.) Since then I have participated in a few different aspects regarding meetings and other items. I have bore witness (more than once) to where a  presenter who was invited to do a presentation is met with: “Oh, ah, projector? Ummm, screen?  Ahhh, AC power? Yeah, I don’t know if we have any of that.  And if we do, it’s probably locked up in a closet.  Sorry. I’m just here to shut the alarm and open the doors.” 


I have, again, more than once, been notified I needed to either have this that or another thing available before I can move further with something  - just days prior to finalization. i.e., Something that I’ve been working on for months that is now in a finalized version. When I’ve asked, I’m usually greeted with a statement much like the same example I used to open. i.e., “It was assigned  to X, they didn’t follow through, but they’re very sorry.” 


Here’s the issue: I (nor does anyone else) care about how genuinely “Sorry” someone is that didn’t do what they knew needed to be done. Period. It’s completely unprofessional and borders on - self-absorbed preoccupation. i.e., Just because you  “apologize” doesn’t mean squat depending on the circumstances. Children do that, not, supposedly,  grown professional men. I could list more and more, but I won’t. The sheer fact that I can recite even one should give many in  the Craft pause to look about themselves and question “Are we doing anything like that?”  


We all know it, we’ve all been there. And, we’ll all be there again, many times further, as time goes along. However, there’s a very big difference between something going wrong that is out of one’s hands then there is with someone just ignoring a circumstance that happened to you and could be overcome.


Let's assume you have your car breakdown days prior to when you have a committee assignment due. You begin making calls then to either replace it or replace you to fulfill your assignment. Brokedown, as you were en route, is a completely understandable issue.

 

This organization tries to instill the idea that is not only a group of like-minded men but those who take responsibility and “their word is their bond”  attitudes toward one and other as “sacred.” It needs to start acting like it before others begin to take it seriously, and want to be part of it, once again. 


Because the issue here is… 


In the examples, I listed including those I did not, many of the ones that “apologized” have since  moved onto higher offices known as “Purple.”

 

Mark St. Cyr 

Freemason

Unicorns

by Midnight Freemason Contributor
WB Scott S. Dueball

Most of you either hold membership in or know of a lodge that is just barely crawling along. A close friend and Brother messaged me the other day saying his lodge was going to fold. I was unsure if this was sentimental or if the proverbial train had actually been set in motion. He continued with the explanation that last week he sat in the lodge all alone at the time they had scheduled ritual practice. On its own, this is not a red flag but not surprisingly the same brother attended their annual Lodge Holiday Party with only 2 other families present. This called to mind an exercise I recently sent around to our own upcoming officers. As this situation is not at all unique to one or two lodges I would like to share the exercise for each of you to reflect.

What I am about to describe is in no way a reflection of my thoughts on the future leadership as I think the world of the men who will take over; it's simply an exercise. Our Annual Stated Meeting and Elections will take place in just over 10 days (no, I am not counting…). Those who are elected will be installed some time before our January Stated Meeting. I asked these leaders to consider hypothetically that no one shows up to the January stated except the 3 principal officers. I then asked them to reflect on the following questions:

  1. Who are the first people you call to ensure that they come to February Stated? Think about if that list contains the most critical people for the future success of the Lodge or if you are calling them because they will be the easiest to convince. This is rhetorical; I am not looking for a response per se.

  2.  How do you plan for February to entice those Brothers to come?

Of course, I neither hope nor expect this to happen. However, I find these to be important questions if we are truly creating a membership-centric plan. We should have an idea of who are most critical to the success of the lodge. While all brothers are equal, I often see an imbalance of brothers providing support only in a few specific areas. Basic supply and demand would suggest that if the there are gaps left by this imbalance--internet/social media work, communications, youth, or education (all real examples in my lodge)--then for the lodge plan to succeed, brethren who can fill those gaps are in higher demand.

Think about what tasks are most critical to the success of the lodge plan. Be cognizant that some of the easiest Brethren to motivate to attend may not be as critical to the lodge plan when it comes to ensuring that fundraisers actually raise funds or the needs of new members are met in order to maintain their participation. My lodge is flush with men able and willing to cook but when it comes to some of the nuts and bolts of a fundraiser, we are void of men interested in promoting any of the functions we have. It's not that I love or value the cooks any less but I recognize that someone executing on the other functions would make a massive difference to a fundraiser.

It's in the interest of the lodge to support a plan that encourages the participation of those men who can help fill in some of our weak areas. If we need someone to run facebook and website we have to be willing to offer him a fulfilling experience to encourage his participation. He has to want to elevate the priority of the Lodge above other wants and needs in his life. That isn’t going to happen because we offer green beans and a short meeting. Maybe the gaps can be filled by guys who live to help others. Or maybe the just enjoy fellowship. This requires the leadership to get to know their members and create balanced plans that give each brother more of what they seek. Its undoubtedly easier to do what we have always done but if that plan has left gaps necessary to the future success of the Lodge then it needs to be revised. All of this can be stated in a much more simplistic way:

  • Identify where the lodge has gaps in what needs to get done 
  • Identify brothers with those talents 
  • Identify ways to attract the interests of those brothers 

~SSD

WB Scott S. Dueball is the Worshipful Master of D.C. Cregier Lodge No. 81 in Wheeling, IL and holds a dual membership in Denver Lodge No. 5 in Denver, CO. He currently serves the Grand Lodge of Illinois as the State Education Officer. Scott is also a member of the Palatine York Rite bodies and the Valley of Chicago A.A.S.R.-N.M.J. He is passionate about the development of young masons, strategy and visioning for Lodges. He can be reached at SEO@ilmason.org