Where this becomes unhealthy is that we, as individual members, lack the same expectation of our Lodges. We do not believe that our Lodges owe us anything in return. We do not expect that the Lodge should be providing us with some fulfillment as well. By saying that the three degrees (and a few pancakes) should provide you with everything you need, we assume that the only thing you could ever need is to watch the same ritual performed in the same way that it has been for over 200 years. That is not fair. You can make the claim that you learn something every time you see the degrees and I would agree with you but remain firm when I ask "That's it?"
It is unfair to Masonry to pit the Blue Lodge against those Brothers who enjoy the appendant bodies. We don't lose active Brothers to the appendant bodies because those Brothers have their priorities wrong. It's quite the opposite, we (the Lodge) have our priorities wrong. The appendant bodies provide opportunities to their members that Blue Lodge do not. The Blue Lodge teaches one set of philosophies and almost never expands on them. You don't become a 33rd, KCCH, KYCH, by exclusively attending Blue Lodge. The appendant bodies also offer occasions to interact outside of your our Lodge. These are likely flaws with the existing model of many Blue Lodges.
I am sure you have all heard this sentiment before but I assure you that it is not a part of every Lodge. Blue lodges with thriving membership don't hold this belief (they certainly do not verbalize it). Thriving lodges provide their membership with reasons to show up and be active. They do not need to guilt their members by suggesting that their first responsibility is to be present. These lodges treat Masonic Philosophy as living, progressing, and ever evolving such that it requires constant discussion within the tyled space. These lodges have a genuine expression of appreciation for those dedicated to the Craft and its teaching. These lodges are never short of diverse interactions among Brothers.
To suggest that our lack of participation is anyone else's fault but our own is myopic. It appeals to our own insecurities but it is far from true. Craft lodges and appendant bodies should both seek to prioritize the fulfillment of their members. When we use guilt to force members to stay active rather than giving them what they are seeking, we do the Gentle Craft a disservice. My wife and I are expecting a baby girl in August; is the chance to deliver a lecture I have heard a hundred times worth time away from her? Will running a Facebook/Eventbrite/Wordpress campaign be worth diverting focus and energy away from her and my wife? There are Masonic organizations that make these trade-offs worthwhile. It's a matter of who can deliver them and, quite honestly, no amount of reminding me that 'Blue Lodge comes first' will factor into that decision process.