by Midnight Freemason Guest Contributor
Bro. Aaron Gardner
Growing up an only child with a single mother can be rough on a boy. He has no one to look up to and no one to teach how to be a man. It is sad to say—but this is the typical American family; more specifically in my hometown of Flint, Michigan. I was raised that very way up until I was about six years old when my step father came around and married my mom. I grew up calling him dad and looking up to him as a man. What he did, what he didn’t do would determine my path in life.
As I grew up and became a teenager I started setting my own trends as most boys that age. I started working, going to school and over all finding myself in society. As most teenage boys I had no idea where I stood on different sides of any fence. Rather it is a moral decision, political or social. All I knew is what I saw in life thus far as how to be the man that I would eventually become. In my own personal household I witnessed some things that I personally disagree with today. However, it was normal to my unknowing eyes. Now, before I go any further let me clarify—my step dad isn’t abusive; he never laid his hands on my mother, to my knowledge, he just was raised a little differently and had his own views and opinions on the world. Still does and I still disagree with him on most his views and his actions in life.

Watching these two different realms in this world has amazed me. It leaves a boy wondering what he is supposed to do as a man. Is what my grandfather did even in his alcoholic days the definition of a man? Or is what my stepfather does the actions of a man? How can one tell? Who is to tell a boy who is growing up with two contradictions of lifestyles which is the proper way? There are a number of places one can get the answers he is looking for: church, friends, family and even gangs. I fortunately never stepped into the path of gangs but I am sure I know a few friends who have. With all the support channels offered to a young boy I mostly learned toward my family and some people that I attended church with.
I have since moved on from attending any form of church and actually look at religion quite a bit differently today. Either way, these were my outlets along with my extracurricular activities such as choir in my high school. While in high school, I was still trying to find myself and find out exactly what I believed. This caused me to follow into my grandfather’s footsteps and join the United States Army. While in the Army I have found different people that I would consider parent like figures to show me how to be a man. It wasn’t until a tour overseas in Italy that I really started pursuing a different course. I was content in being a Soldier and the belief of belonging to something bigger than oneself was right there. However, beliefs and ideas change. I started actively pursuing information regarding Freemasonry as another outlet of belonging.

I believe we have a great program for young boys who need that source of outlet. A way to help young men grow and become level, square and just in today’s society. We can help reduce crime and tragedies of society within our own organization. That is, if we market it. Young gang members may just be looking for a sense of belonging, which they haven’t found in their families or churches. Maybe it is time to introduce the DeMolay program to people outside of Freemasonry. Put the program in schools as an extracurricular activity and allow kids to see a portion of the light that we see as upstanding men of the fraternity. Help guide what could be lost souls into a world of knowledge and understanding. I may have had to find myself by myself, but that doesn’t mean other generations have to.
Market DeMolay, and we are no longer just making “Good Men Better”. We are raising a better society from birth.
~AG

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