Something I Probably Shoulda Wrote in My Journal

by Midnight Freemason Contributor

Robert H. Johnson

All I can think about right now is what is to come. I'm stunned. I'm dumbfounded at the world around me. Yeah, COVID-19--that's old news. We had a wild election. We had people breaking into the Capitol Building. Now, the vaccine is here, so I guess I'll be getting that as soon as I can. My kids are in school virtually with plans to return to a hybrid learning environment in the coming weeks. I just got back from the Mayo Clinic, and I am still undiagnosed. Oh, and my production computer took a crap. All this stuff...not all of it bad, not all good--but it's like life itself boxed me around, and I'm standing there, stunned, looking at the stars circling my head.

Am I thinking about these things? Only as much as they might be words floating around in my head. They're like objects getting in the way of a daydream. I see this future where I'm back at an amusement park on a hot summer day. The world spinning around me, my kids running to the next ride, and my wife is smiling. Everything about the moment is perfect, even the smells. The funnel cakes, the cotton candy, even the garbage cans.

Flash to another one. The backlot behind lodge standing around with my Brothers. It's too damn hot for tuxes, and we've all lost our ties. There's laughing, and talking and the stars in the sky are clear to see--a rarity for a summer night around my neck of the woods. Driving home, with the windows open and listening to good music.

Flashing to another one. Driving home from the office. The sun is starting to go down, and it's blinding the hell out of me. But I can't stop smiling. The golden light is just baking my left arm. 

All these things are gone right now. No amusement parks, no Lodge, no office. Someone asked me recently what the first thing I would do when this was over. I said, "Go to the movies with my kids and eat too much popcorn and a tray of those pretzels and cheese." That sounds to me, like a slice of heaven right now.

Freemasonry teaches a lot of things. One of those things is Hope. We use it in a pretty singular way in Masonry, "Hope for a future life." Or something to the effect. I sure do hope for the future. I'm not really concerned about my own "future existence", but I do hope that the future has some surprises for us that don't seem to knock us on our asses again. Make no doubt about it. We'll pull through, and we'll be stronger for it. 

For the first time in months, I've seen some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Reflecting on what this time has been like, spending it with close family, and really experiencing people I interact with--it's changed me. Hell, it's changed you too, I'm willing to bet. We needed this. When this is all over, maybe I'll see you at the amusement park, or at the movies. Until then, I'll be daydreaming on occasion.

Keep working hard. Keep hoping. We'll get there sooner than later.

"If you can't suffer joyously, suffer patiently."

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

~RHJ

RWB Johnson is a Co-Managing Editor of the Midnight Freemasons blog. He is a Freemason out of the 2nd N.E. District of Illinois. He currently serves as the Secretary of Spes Novum Lodge No. 1183. He is a Past Master of Waukegan Lodge 78 and a Past District Deputy Grand Master for the 1st N.E. District of Illinois. Brother Johnson currently produces and hosts weekly Podcasts (internet radio programs) Whence Came You? & Masonic Radio Theatre, which focuses on topics relating to Freemasonry. He is also a co-host of The Masonic Roundtable, a Masonic talk show. He is a husband and father of four, works full time in the executive medical industry. He is the co-author of "It's Business Time - Adapting a Corporate Path for Freemasonry" and author of "How to Charter a Lodge: A No-Nonsense, Unsanctioned Guide. More books are on the way.