by Midnight Freemason Contributor
Bro. Robert Walk Jr.
So, what happens when we fall from Grace? So, what happens when we fail? What happens when we get back out into the real world, after we are Raised, and begin to do The Great Work and we fumble? Not too sure about you Brethren, but my quick-to-judge attitude has been very resilient in my efforts to tear that tendency to shreds.
Nearly immediately after I was Raised back in February this year, 2014, my old tendencies came back — complaining about politics, road-raging due to tailgaters and bad traffic, and just plain complaining in general. I go from cold to hot in under three seconds, which has been brought to my attention very many times, during which I had to take a moment to breathe. What happened to the very lesson which was literally just given to me in my Raising? It seemed as though it had taken a back seat for a few months, as I awaited the time of the fateful moment during the latter portion of that night. It was a rather stark reminder that that which we contend with in human nature and ego is not easily given up or even destroyed for that matter.
The question here then, is what are we to do if we have a transgression of our obligations, or we fail to present the Fraternity in the Great Light that it truly provides? I knew that I couldn’t be the only one whose tendencies didn’t get the best of them, even after the Third Degree Ritual. I began to ask around about what I could do if I became that person I was struggling to constantly downplay? That oftentimes angry, irritable, non-sensical man surely did not listen to his own conscience when it came to certain matters of that nature. The answers I got were not nearly as satisfying or fulfilling as I thought they should’ve been:
“Don’t worry, Brother. We all do it sometimes.”
“What did you do? Flick ‘em off? They deserved it!”
or the worst answer,
“You’re just too hard on yourself, man.”
Something was amiss here. I really didn’t know where to go with that. There was a feeling of redemption that I was after that wasn’t attainable by these throwaway one-liners. Should I go to the Worshipful Master and confess? Well, for God’s sake, he’s surely not my pastor! Well, then obviously I should sit in contemplation and prayer! Right, but in that case if my Masonhood were in question, I would not be judged by my Brethren.
God Bless, and get to Lodge!
Bro. Robert Walk Jr. is the creator and sole writer for On Freemasonry and Humble Pie: a Wordpress blog dedicated to his experiences and journey from being a petitioner, to Initiation, Passing, and to being Raised. A dialysis technician being his main work, he enjoys writing, rock climbing, drumming and craft beer in his free time. He is a Master Mason at Jephthah Lodge No. 222, A.F.&A.M. in Essex, MD.
I too am a Type A personality. The longer I am in Freemasonry and consciously working to subdue my passions, I find that I am slower to get hot, don't stay hot as long, and cool down more quickly. Becoming a perfect ashlar is a journey; as a destination it is reached only when one lays down their working tools.ReplyDelete